Carmensita really is that amazing!!!

And she really is this cute...

And this beautiful...
Yup - that's right - we're home from visiting our little Carmen - or as her foster family refers to her - Carmensita.

As my wife just told her father - she has me totally wrapped around her little finger. CJ is the sweetest little girl in the world. Her smile lights up a room, but she's a little stubborn with her laughs. Actually, many of her smiles are little smirks that sometimes develop in to full blown smiles and sometimes do not. She loves to be held, and hugged, and kissed. She's not at all bothered by noisiness and in fact prefers that you go ahead and be loud! She likes to eat about every 3 hours and will tell you with all her might when she's hungry.


We flew down last Sunday afternoon from Philly via Miami, with a fairly uneventful flight. It's 2 2.5 hour flights that way, with a 2.5 hour layover in Miami (not the most pleasant airport in the world). Even with smooth travels, we were weary, and anxious for the next day to come. We traveled with Carmen's Tia S - who really helped with advise, a little Spanish, and of course - videos and snapshots.

The plan:

1. Meet Carmen, her foster mommy - N and translator - O, at 10AM Monday in the hotel lobby.
2. Spend Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday with her
3. N will come back to hotel mid-day Thursday to take her home
4. We spend the next day and a half as tourists - possibly visiting Antigua (a beautiful colonial town about an hour from Guatemala City.
5. Then we head home Saturday

Reality in Guatemala:

1. We awake Monday morning, brimming with anticipation, but expecting Carmen to be a little late as we were warned might be the case.
2. The phone doesn't ring until 10:45, but it's not O.
3. We call O at 11:30, and leave him a message.
4. The phone proceeds to ring 3 more times, including a call from O telling us they will arrive around 2:30 with the baby.
5. The phone rings around 2:35 - it's O in the lobby with Carmen and N.
6. We head downstairs, Carmen is placed in our arms and we review all kinds of info. B shows up just as N and O are about to leave so we get to meet her as well.
7. O unexpectedly tells us that N and B will meet us in the lobby of the hotel at 5PM Friday!!!
8. We spend the week with Carmen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9. We head down to the lobby at 4:55, N walks in at 5:00.
10. B finally shows up around 5:50, after having been called by N.
11. We travel back to the US, slightly down in the dumps, but confident because N is so awesome.

There you have it - our week in a nutshell. But it was so much more than that. It was so much more than diapers (yes - she peed during one of my diaper changes), bottles, drool, zerberts, and naps.

But, then again, that's exactly what it was about. It was about getting to know our Carmensita. And we learn about her through her play, how she eats, and how she laughs and cries. Right now she expresses who she is through these things.

Will she remember us? Not really sure. We made an audio tape of us playing, singing, and talking to her, which N was looking forward to playing for her. This might help in that regard. We're pretty sure she missed her Momma N, as she has known only her foster family since day 10 of her life. What an amazing family she has in Guatemala.
She loves to play with her hands and suck on her fingers and wrists. She hiccups quite a bit and yawns regularly - we have both on video. She has smooth brown skin and a complexion that looks great in yellow, blue, and green. She has beautiful deep brown, expressive eyes - I can see my reflection in them - literally.

As you can see above, her hands and fingers seem a little large, but her feet are a bit on the small side.


As luck would have it, we received a new set of pictures, a medical report, and a case update while we were there with her. She's 16 lbs now at 4 months old - very healthy. We're still waiting on Pre-Approval from the US Embassy, but the case has entered PGN - the Guatemala attorney general's office that handles adoption cases. They will review the file, and tell our lawyer what items must be fixed. We know for sure the Pre-Approval must be there, but some lawyers will submit knowing this so they can find the other potential problems and fix them quickly. Not sure yet if this will speed up our case in the end game, but it may give us more certainty a little further down the road.

It was an amazing week. Totally amazing. She's a wonderful little girl who is developing her own personality right now. Her family right now in Guatemala loves her to pieces. We were are at piece knowing she is so loved- this helped us a great deal as we watched her leave us.

We will be back. Soon I pray.

I've got tons more pics (as does Tia S), so I'll share more soon. We've also got hours and hours of video (again thanks mostly to Tia), which I'll share as well. Not sure exactly how I'll accomplish this yet.

I must end this post with the cutest picture in the history of photography. You've seen all kinds of cute pictures in your day right? Babies, puppies, kittens, babies with puppies, kittens with puppies. All of them are cute.

But not like this. I present to you: CJ lounging the pool with one of her trademark smirks.

More and More updates

Another day of updates. Just last week we received pictures from Carmen's June "well baby check" and our DNA match. We're still planning a visit in August, so that's got everyone buzzing these days.

Today we received her July medical update and even more pictures! These were taken just last week, and holy wow - she's changed even since June. There were some pics in the batch with the first ziplock package we sent, so that confirms it's arrival. Still not quite 3 months old, she's 13.8 lbs, got a few more of her immunizations, and grew an inch since June. Her foster mommy is sortof holding her up in each of the pictures, but it looks like her head it starting to get stable. I bet the next batch will have one of those on the stomach with head held up shots.

We're on day 13 of our 60 day PA (pre-approval) period. Some folks are getting it in 55 or so days, a few are getting it in 62, so we're being patient. It certainly helps to be getting so many other updates and pictures. But, don't be surprised if we go into a slow period until early August.

And now for the real reason your reading my blog. The adorable, precious, amazing Carmen:

A dear friend of ours tells me this is her favorite so far - she's looking right at the camera:

I really like this one - looks like she's checking out her foot. Come on, let's take the socks off and see those tootsies!
Several people have commented already that she looks good in turquoise or whatever color she's wearing. Can't really argue - looks better than the pink from last month's pictures.
This final shot is the red-head's favorite. She claims CJ is already giving the puppy dog eyes. I'll never fall for it!!! ya right.

New pictures - she's got a left ear!!!

Not that I was really worried about it - but it was the wittiest thing I could think of quickly.

I've only got a little bit of time to post, but here are 2 of Carmen's latest pictures. She's actually just under 2 months old here - these were taken back in June at her medical checkup. Not sure exactly, but I believe there were some IT problems that slowed down their delivery (please no comments from the peanut gallery). So, it's quite possible we'll get a July update soon as well. As you can tell with this process, nothing is totally predictable - you take care of whatever is in your control and just keep an eye on the rest.

CJ decided to wake up for these pictures, although a couple of them seem like she'd rather be sleeping. Here's one - the woman holding her is her foster mom - you can see the caring look in her eyes - it's wonderful to know she is in such loving hands. But, we can't really post her picture on the web so I cropped it a little:


Here's the cutest picture of all. Not sure what she's looking at, but she's really showing off those chubby cheeks!

Ziplock Number Two - twice as much love!!!

We just prepped our second ziplock bag to send to Guatemala for Carmen. I think this one has the same amount of stuff in it, but some of that stuff is a little bigger.

Thanks to our new friend from Tennessee who's going down to pick up her son some time this month. How cool is that. You may recall we hooked up with some other fine folks (in that case from MD) who were visiting their daughter for CJ's first package a little over a month ago. I must say it's actually awfully fun putting these packages together, and it's also a cool way touch base with some people who are going through a similar experience.


This time we included 2 more cameras, 2 outfits, a hat, La Oruga Muy Hambrienta (The Very Hungry Caterpillar), and a cute little stuffed Eyore. Ya, the Red-Head is already exposing Carmen to her favorite children's author (Eric Carle), and favorite children's character. You'll also notice some things that clearly are not meant for a baby, particularly one without teeth. In this package we are including a little something for Carmen's foster family - some bubble gum for the kids, trail mix for their Papá, and a dish towel and earrings for their Mama.

Here's how it looked all packaged up. Had to take front and back photos since the view was so different.




It's getting late, but now I'm kinda wound up - so there's no telling how much sleep I'll actually get. Oh well, I just don't care any more. It's so worth it.

DNA Authorization!

Just a quick update. We received word that the DNA test has been authorized by the US Embassy in Guatemala. This is step 25 in our time line found on the right hand side of the blog.

This is not a difficult hurdle, but a big one because it means that our lawyer is pushing our case through the different steps. This essentially means that a DNA test will be scheduled soon to ensure that Carmen's Birth Mother really is. This is one of the steps in the process that has helped eliminate corruption. I think it's just a swipe from inside the cheek, which are sent to a lab, no blood work. Also in most cases, the family court interview is conducted on the same day. This will all likely be scheduled, then we'll learn about it after the fact. Depending on where everyone lives and what their work schedules are like, it can be tuff to schedule that appointment.

I can imagine that this will be a difficult and emotional day for Carmen's Birth Mother, so please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Once the match takes place, we'll be able to schedule our visit trip! Of course, that match could still be a month or two away, then another month to schedule the trip, so we're talking September as the most realistic time frame for our trip to meet our daughter in person.

I have nothing clever or witty to say - just a big smile today.

Here's to progress!!!

Quick update and another FAQ

Just a quick update, then I want to get to explaining some more details. Our referral acceptance documents are on their way to Guatemala! When they get there, the process will really get rolling!

OK, here are a few more answers to the most common questions we've gotten. It's not that we have new information or anything, but some things are better explained after the initial excitement. Hopefully, this won't be too boring considering I posted a similar list a couple weeks ago! Trust me, I've got more detail in this one. If you've actually asked one of these questions, please don't fell like I'm singling you out. In fact, each of these questions has been asked at least 3-4 times, most of them by more than that.

1) Will she ever open her eyes?
OK actually, that's my question. I stare at her picture quite a bit and wonder if maybe her eyes will open. It never happens. We'll have to wait until the next set - hopefully in the next few weeks.

2) Why does it take so long?
This is actually the #1 question, and would take several pages to fully explain. The short answer I usually give is that we have a legal process to go through - not all that different than a domestic adoption legal process. In reality, it is very different, but the point is that it takes time for the courts and agencies there to approve the case. Here's a basic outline

A) Translation and registry of official documents in Guatemala.
*This process for us will start next week, and could take up to 2 months, putting us into July

B) Pre-approval of case by US Embassy, and Guatemala Family court
*Another 2-3 month process, starting in July - putting us into September-October

C) Guatemala Attorney General (PGN) approval process starts after the pre-approvals
*Yet another 3 months - putting us in the December time frame.

D) Final registry in Guatemala and issuance of birth certificate, passport, and visa.
*The time for this can vary depending on what time of year, but it seems to be taking about 5 weeks right now. Right there, we're into Jan of 2008 under a very good case scenario.

E) Embassy appointment and travel to pick up Carmen! *OK, here's where it should make sense now that we're saying Jan/Feb of 2008.

3) Do you know anything about her family in Guatemala?
We know a little bit and will probably learn more through the family court process. It'll be up to Carmen when she is older whether to discuss this outside the family. We do know the names of her birth mother and grandparents, as well as her home town, and the name of the hospital in which she born. We will probably get a little more family background information and some additional pictures of Carmen's birth mother, and there's also a chance we will be able to meet her while we're in Guatemala.
I feel a little bad continuing to call her "birth mother" because she is a woman with a name, but we're supposed to be discreet about such things for the time being.
Some people shorten it to BM - I find that distasteful.
Another common term is first mother. That's OK, but I think it's awkward.
Some of you will probably hear us use her actual name in conversation if you have not already.

4) Why did her birth mother relinquish her?
We get this question quite a bit, and I believe it's mostly out of concern for Carmen. It is difficult to imagine why someone would relinquish a child, but she must not be judged in any way by us for doing so. Like I've said before, it's critical that Carmen understand that her birth mother loves her and cares very much about her well being. I think I'll get into explaining this a little more later on.

5) What about that name again?
OK, we've gotten a lot of positive comments on the name Carmen. We just love that name, but to be honest, we chose it way before we knew we were adopting from Latin America. The fact that it's a Spanish name is merely a cooikidink. As I've said, Julia is my late mother's name and we feel this is a good way for the entire family to honor her. López provides a connection to Carmen's birth family. But, after learning a little bit more about her birth name, were thinking about using Maribel - the name she received at birth. Just about everyone that has learned this as her birth name has just loved it as much as we do. But the red-head and I were both thinking about it and are seriously considering using it.
Carmen Julia Maribel? This this might be the way to go, but it's not a decision that need to be final until she arrives home though.

6) I have a friend/relative/co-worker who adopted or was adopted.
To be quite frank - this usually leads to a beautiful story of creating a family or a horror story of red tape or worse. Each individual case is unique, but the general process from country to country is also unique. In Guatemala, adoptions are generally a private arrangement, much like here in the US, with certain government over-sight and safeguards and laws aimed at protecting children and families. As much as this is a family building process, it's also a social service and legal process. There are opportunities for corruption, and I'm sure many of you have seen 20/20 type stories exposing all of that. Yes it still happens, but there are thousands of adoptions that are 100% ethical, as will ours be. That doesn't mean we won't run into problems or red tape, but we hope to minimize that.
As for the positive stories, keep them coming. It's a joy to hear about all the different ways people become a family. Learning from the rest of you, only helps us to become stronger.

7) Are you still planning that Guatemala night?
Yes - not sure exactly when it will take place - probably over the summer. Perhaps it will be a good activity during the dog days of Summer (like August) when folks won't mind spending a couple of hours indoors learning about Guatemala, adoption, and sharing in fellowship. We still need more tamale practice. Stay tuned!

That's it for now folks. We're hoping some more pictures and a video arrive soon. Carmen is now 6 weeks old! I can't wait to see how much she's changed!

A toy when it throws the teeth

That would be a teething ring.

Want a better explanation? I could have named this entry "a tinkling one" - but I just didn't want certain google searches coming up with that too easily.

The while a tinkling one would be a baby rattle you see in the group of nifty stuff below. Both items, along with a blankie, an outfit, 2 washcloths, 3 pairs of socks, 2 onesies, a "who loves baby" photo book, and 2 single use cameras. Carmen's foster family will use one camera for themselves, and return the other to us with pictures we can share with Carmen to remember her foster family.



We also included a letter to the foster family just saying hello, explaining what we included in the package, and making sure they know we care and pray for them as well. A dear friend of ours knows a lot about the Spanish language, as well as Spanish and Latin American culture. He was a huge help in translating our letter and giving us advice on the best way to get our point across. Just for fun, we took his translated letter and popped it back into babblefish, just to see what it would do with the newly formulated Spanish. Hence - a tinkling one and a toy when it throws the teeth. Apparently, we're also asking them to "to remove photos from Carmen with its family, so that we pruned ourselves to bring to house after our visit."

Our agency hooked us up with a family who are headed to Guatemala to meet their beautiful daughter. We've met so many great people through this process, and these folks are kind enough help us out. In turn, when we finally get our chance to travel to see Carmen, we'll take packages down for other Bethany families.

We had to fit it all into a gallon size zip top bag. A lot of folks call these "Ziplocks of love" - I'm not sure I want that showing up on a google search either! Here's how it turned out.



It's a pretty exciting step, our first moment to reach out and touch Carmen.