The unexpected adoption

Honey, sit down. I have some news for you.

What is it?

Well, I don't know how to say this, so I'll just come out with it. I went to the mailbox today and... well, we got an I-797C.

A what?!? An I-797C? As in, we're going to have a baby?!?

It looks that way.

But how? We've been so careful! I put away all the blank I-600A forms. Didn't you hide our homestudy update?

Of course I did, but don't forget, there was that one night...

What night? (pauses) Ohhh, that night, But it was only once. We were just messing around. I didn't print clearly. I didn't even use ink! (pauses again) But it was kind of fun. (giggles). It was, wasn't it?

I'll never forget how cute you looked getting your fingerprints.

So now we've go our I-797C, eh? But that doesn't always mean you'll adopt, does it? I mean, shouldn't you see the agency or something, make sure everthing's okay?

I already did.

And?

I'm five documents along.

Five documents! And they're all notarized, certified and authenticated okay?

Just great. There was one small scare when the agency couldn't see the Notary's middle initial but it showed up just fine under the magnifying glass. Thank God. And you, honey? Are you feeling okay?

I'm feeling fine. As long as I know you're happpy about this.

Happy? I'm thrilled! It's always a shock at first when something like this happens, but of course I'm happy.

Author Unknown

Uncle Sam officially says - "Go for it"

This is the most glorious envelope in the history of envelopes - and it arrived in our mailbox today.



Why? Well, inside this envelope was the first of 2 things we've been waiting on - our USCIS approval. This is necessary before we can receive that referral. At this point, the US immigration service has officially said we are permitted to bring home CJ, and have informed the US Embassy in Guatemala of our intentions to do so.

So now, there's nothing standing in the way except time. We're close to 2 months into the wait, so I'm sure we've moved up the list a bit by now!

Anyway - this is actually a huge step - the Red Head cried when she saw it, but unfortunately I was at work and didn't get to see her initial reaction. Let's just say we've been on cloud 9 all evening, and it'll be another sleepless weekend, just due to all the excitement.

Hopefully soon we will have another envelope that will blow this one away!

An Authentic Wait

I guess I'm determined to make a reference to our being in a waiting phase in every post until we receive a referral. But, we did get some good news yesterday. Here's what our social worker passed on from the Bethany home office:

"We received the dossier for the Shumate family back from authentication today."

This is the one area of dossier prep that I had not fully understood until I just did some reviewing of our instructions and other research. You see, in most of the instructions, we are told which documents require "State Seal and Authentication." So, for some reason I just assumed they went together hand in hand - that the state did the authentication and seal. The SW corrected me a couple months ago and said, no, we send the dossier for authentication once you get all those state seals.

I was thinking it was something akin to an expert signing off one last time on their legitimacy kinda like a certificate of authentication for a famous person's autograph. If I recall, I even used this comparison before.

Well, sorta, but not quite...

In actuality, these documents are even more like gold now. They have been authenticated by the Guatemalan consulate in NYC!!! That means a representative of the Guatemalan government has seen them and said - yah, they look like the real deal.

Of course, that's not technically getting us any closer to Carmen, but it does mean our paperwork is in order at this point, and hopefully will not cause any delays later on in the process. That doesn't mean a speedy process, just hopefully one less thing to worry about after referral. Did I ever tell you that our agency and social worker are awesome?

Hanging on for the ride!!!

I've got some good news, but no referral or immigration approval. This is news that you might be surprised to hear considering I didn't share the bad news that precedes it. Let me explain.

Hopefully, this isn't too much boring detail but I need to backtrack a bit.

Most countries involved in international adoptions are signatories to a treaty (The Hague Convention) that supposedly creates standards and safeguards for the adoption process. All countries must implement legislation that brings them into compliance. Guatemala is lagging in this area. If the US ratifies the treaty before they become compliant, adoptions there could be halted. We are in good shape for that timing as ratification isn't expected until late 2007 or 2008.

But, in the mean time, politicians in Guatemala are debating various methods for implementing revisions to their adoption system. Last week, President Berger announced some guidelines that he believes should be part of that system. Given that Guatemala is still a young Democracy, there was some concern that he would attempt to implement these changes without legislative approval. Keep in mind that this would not have meant our adoption would be halted, but it would have meant a major delay.

The bad news (that we never confirmed 100% until today) is that during this little "scare" Bethany suspended all referrals. While we are on the waiting list, we cannot get a referral until that pesky immigration approval shows up. So it was a bit nerve-racking, but not critical to us yet. Although it did put a nice scare into some of our friends also on the waiting list.

The good news is that they have re-opened referrals!!! Also, Bethany has determined with a fairly high level of confidence that the President and Congress of Guatemala will be working more closely with the adoption community on creating a solution to become compliant without creating major delays. God willing, we will only be scrutinized more than otherwise, but hopefully the time line will not be impacted a great deal.

So, the bottom line is that we continue to wait for the immigration approval and the referral of our little Carmen. There were a lot of people out there praying that this current bump in the road would be resolved, and it looks like it has been. Sorry to all those in the blogosphere that I did not mention the issue while it was happening, but until we heard directly from our social worker, there were just too many rumors swirling around the issue and I'm not much for passing around rumors. Folks who have been through this before will tell you that these types of scares are par for the course when it comes to Guatemalan adoptions. Let me tell you these past couple of weeks have been an emotional roller coaster - or at least a tilt-a-whirl.

Tamales for CJ

Well, it's the end of a long day still on the waiting list for our little Carmen.

As I promised a while back - we had our first experience practicing making tamales. And boy - do we need more practice. It was a lot of fun and a lot of work. At the very least, we learned a lot about what we like and don't like, and the masa turned out pretty good, which is something I didn't expect.

Take a look over on the tamale section of my food blog to see our experience.

My little Philly

OK, so on to something a little less intense and certainly more fun. You must understand, that just like announcing a pregnancy, telling people you're adopting leads to lots of fun gifts and offers to borrow stuff. We already have been given or are borrowing a matching crib and changing table, some cloths, a car seat (that actually matches the interior of my pickup truck!), and few other items. Oh, and not to mention advice several free notarizations!

It's tuff to buy too many cloths at this point because we don't have the referal, and we don't really know for sure how big she'll be when she comes home. The best guess is that she'll be under a year old, so all shopping is not in vain!

So last week, the wife and her best friend spent the day browsing at baby stuff and she picked up a present for me. Yup, this is a present for me. I can't wear it, but I sure will show it off some day! Hanging next to it is my own Phillies hat - also a present a couple years ago (along with a trip to awesome Citizen's Bank Park)

Yah, that's a Phillies chearleader outfit. I know, there's no cherleaders in baseball, but heck - it's cute isn't it?

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I love baseball. I remember the Phillies winning the World Series in 1980, and losing it in 1983. Then I remember the total silence for 15 minutes amongst a dorm room full of friends after Joe Carter hit that home run off of Mitch Williams to win the series in '93. Mike Schmidt and Steve Carlton were my idols during the 80's. I cringe when I see Curt Schilling and Scott Rolen winning titles while the Phils keep missing the playoffs by 1 or 2 games! I sense hope with our current lineup of Ryan Howard and Chase Utley, and a rotation of Cole Hammels, Bret Myers, and Freddie Garcia. Can they win the division this year - you bet. Will I be taking my CJ to her first big league game summer of 2008? Absolutely!

About Guatemalan adoptions

OK, this is going to sound a bit like another commentary and I kinda promised myself, and perhaps any readers of this blog, that I would not get controversial. This is about the struggle and joy of bringing home our baby girl. Being able to keep you all updated with this technology has been a blessing - I've had several people approach me and say - congratulations on getting on the waiting list after having seen it on the blog! Your thoughts and prayers mean more than I can ever express.

So, I want to address some of the difficulties and concerns about foreign adoptions in general and Guatemalan adoption specifically. There are all kinds of issues surrounding domestic adoption as well, an addition so specific worries for each of the countries that allow Americans to adopt. I'm sure most of you don't pay as much attention to these things as I do, but Guatemalan adoptions have shown up in the news lately, and not totally in a positive light.

The Problems:
If you really want to know the specifics, start googling, but I can tell you I've read just about all of it and it does NOT in any way apply to the process we are going through. The various proposals and controversies MAY, however, impact our process at some point as they lead to closer scrutiny of international adoption cases. We, and our agency welcome the scrutiny because we KNOW we are doing everything legally and ethically. This is not always the case, and sadly, it's these cases that make the news and lead to political blather and even harsh legislation. Never will you see the headlines, "Happy family brought together from thousands of miles apart!" or "Well respected agency assists family and child to unite!"

I really want to stay positive, but think along with me about it as I describe the safeguards in place for our own process.

What are we paying for exactly?
Our agency provides a legal disclosure of their fees up front, and opens their books to us so we can see specifically the destination of those fees. They do not pay off birth mothers to "give up" their child. In fact, the birth mother is counseled extensively to ensure she understands and truly desires to make an adoption plan for her child. Some of the fees we pay will be used by Bethany for the care of Carmen (formula, medical care, diapers!) while she is with her foster family - similar to the stipend that the government provides for foster parents here in the States. Some of the fees are used for the processing of paperwork in both the US and Guatemala and for the services provided by the Bethany social workers in both countries as well. Just like any legal process, there are fees involved. Just like caring for any infant, there are quite a few expenses.

How does the agency know the child is really an orphan?
As you have read in much detail, the red head and I have already gone through quite a bit of screening to ensure that we are fit to be be parents and to bring a child into our home from another country. Similarly, the birth mother will end up signing off 3 separate times and submitting to a DNA test to match the baby before things can be finalized in Guatemala. Every time I think about that, I wonder how hard it must be for her. First to come to the realization that adoption might be the best thing, then to not legally be allowed to just get it over with in one shot. Let me tell you, birth mothers in this process are not abandoning their children, they truly are making plans for them to be raised by someone else.

What happens to CJ between referral and coming home?
Similarly, foster parents go through extensive screening and training by Bethany staff, ensuring that they understand their role and provide a safe and loving atmosphere while the legal process continues. It truly takes a dedicated and strong family to foster under any circumstances. They are responsible for so much, and I read over and over how emotional the "hand over" day can be for them. Many of the foster parents are empty nesters, or have teenage children still at home, so they are able to provide good temporary homes, but may not be able to adopt. The foster parent's role is to be honored and valued as well.

Why does it take so long?
Actually, I'm pretty sure the discussion above answers that question. CJ cannot simply be whisked away as soon as her birth mother initiates the adoption plan. 3 main things must happen that each take 1-3 months. 1) DNA test ensuring a match. 2) The Guatemalan government must review the case, interview the birth mother and sign off. 3) The US government reviews the case, provides a medical screening of Carmen, and signs off for the immigration. These are all legitimate and necessary safeguards that are necessary to protect the rights of all parties involved.

Alrighty then. I hope that wasn't too heavy, and I'm sorry if that seems to have come out of left field. There really has been some news and commentary lately, so it's been on my heart to share that with the blogosphere. Because I already feel a sort of connection with Guatemala and Central America, I actually have a lot more commentary in my head in relation to adoption legislation, US-Guatemalan relations(both current and historic), and government and private aid. E-mail me or ask me in person if really want t know - I'm leaving it out of the blog.